Hypocrisy in the House

I am a hypocrite.

I’m just gonna put that out there.

This is why:

I am like a running “coach” of sorts for my friends, I also am writing a persusasive speech on running for Speech Class. I know lots of things about running. Thanks to my own running mentors as well as running magazines, running emails, and books, I know everything there is to know about heart rates, paces, good times, bad times, different clothes for different weather, when to run, maximum fat burn, long runs, short runs, etc. etc.

And I’m sure that I learn more every day. If you want I can tell you precisely what point of a mile it is from my house to the condos down the street (.38 of a mile). I can tell you at exactly what point you reach two miles running straight down a street by my house (from our house down to the Park District building). I can tell you how many times you have to run from our point on the nature path to the next town’s library in order to complete 9 miles (3 times there and back, the last time running all the way down to the zero mark).

I can tell you all about the right foods to eat and when to eat ’em, how much you need to eat after you burn 300 calories, 500 calories, 1000 calories. I can tell you what a good weight is for your height. I can reassure you that you’re not fat, that it’s the muscle that makes the scale read those numbers.

I can tell you what the right stretches are, how to get a six-pack, how to get muscles, which muscles are developed with which exercises.

I know a lot. And I am one of those over-zealous preachers of the facts of running.

Running is simple. Do this and this and this. Don’t do that or that and don’t even THINK about doing that other thing. As long as you do this and this and this and this and make sure to eat this and sleep for this long and do these 10 stretches you should be fine.

I can talk running for hours on end. I know all the right things. But I don’t always apply them to my own personal running career.

Here’s how it works.

I tell others: Stretching is IMPORTANT.

In my life: Stretching lasts about 3 minutes ( or the length of time it takes for my Garmin to catch its satellite).

I tell others: Make sure to replenish you body with water and a snack after your runs.

In my life: I almost never eat after my runs (who is hungry after exercise?) and if I remember to drink 5-oz. of water I consider that good.

I tell others: Sleep is important for maximum weight loss as well as time for your body to rejuvenate.

In my life: I go to bed late and get up early.

As I mentioned above, I am writing a persuasive speech on why people should run and the benefits of running and how to overcome obstacles and how to be the best runner you can be.

I think it’s gonna be a good speech cause it’s persuading me to be a safer and healthier runner. I’m the one who runs across the street when there are no cars in sight. I’m the one who never eats after a run to keep that muscular, fit, post-workout feel for as long as possible. I’m the one who eats as many sweets as she wants…

If any of you would have the desire to read mi muy interesante speech I can send it to you because it really is an eye-opening speech chock full of running advice. I’m so excited about it.


2 thoughts on “Hypocrisy in the House

  1. Nathan McDaniels says:

    I will take you up on that offer. Need my email?
    Warm-up and stretching: 8-10 minutes regardless of the workout.
    Hydration: I am always drinking. Water is an amazing resource.
    Food: Unless I fall asleep as soon as I get home, I always eat after working out.
    Sleep: Equally (maybe more) guilty.

  2. Mary THE BEST FRIEND says:

    Clairie, everyones like this somtimes! It’s awesome you know so much about running! I wish i new that much about swimming or basketball! Just keep doing what you do! You’re not a hypocryte… or how ever you spell it! You jsut forget.. 8)

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