Genetically Humorous


So today I have decided to talk about humor levels.

Okay, let me just say one thing before I begin this. I am not funny. At all. I know a few people who laugh at the “funny” things that I say. It’s a big ego boost for me but I have no idea why they are laughing. Just saying.

Let’s start with Peter. He is my youngest brother. Everyone thinks he is funny because he is so darn cute. He is funny. And cute. So, he has the whole cuteness factor going for him. Also, he is very smart for his age, so he says things that wouldn’t be funny except that he’s so young. Also, he’s kinda sarcastic which always strikes us as funny.

Next up is James. I think I shall call him the “Accidental Comedian”. He TRIES very hard to be funny and sometimes he is. But the times he is the most hilarious is when he isn’t even TRYING to be funny. Like when he fried rotten salami. Let me assure you that it was NOT funny at the time. At all. One tiny bit. It smelled SO gross and I was like, “James. Seriously. How could you NOT have known that was rotten?” Our kitchen, our family room, actually our whole house smelled like burnt oil and burnt rotten meat for the rest of the day. But, today I was laughing about it. See, when I laugh about this, he thinks I am making fun of him. I’m not. I’m just laughing cause what he did was so funny. I could tell you a million of these sorts of stories. But I won’t.

John is just funny. I have no idea how he does it. But he is hilarious. Of all of us, he is the one who can get us laughing the hardest. All my friends think he is hilarious. He always has funny things to say, funny stories to tell, jokes he heard “somewhere”. Seriously, the kid is a barrel of laughs. Am I jealous? Maybe a little. 🙂

I am not funny. At all. I try to be funny. And I fail. Sometimes I can make people laugh when I do something stupid. But that’s purely accidental. But I’m not an accidental comedian like James, cause I don’t really do that many funny things. I think I’m hilarious. But I just have this weird sense of humor that only I understand. I do have some friends who think I’m hilarious. I love those friends.

Abby is funny. To me at least. She is sarcastic-like Peter. It cracks me up. She says the things that I’m thinking. She can make ANYTHING funny. On Sunday, we were really tired from our late-night festivities of the night before, so we were laying on our beds and she was reading me entries from my old diaries. She has a way of doing it that makes it really funny. Even the serious or “sad” stuff (because seriously what is serious or sad in the life of an 11-year-old girl…especially if that girl is me).

So, what can we conclude from this? Well have you ever heard of Mendelian Genetics?

It goes like this:

Okay let’s say that the gene for being uproariously funny is F. And so then the gene for being not even one tiny bit funny is f. Okay? So if a person had one F and one f, that means they are funny half the time. So, that’s my parents. They are each Ff.

So here’s my parent’s chart:

So, are you following me so far? That’s my parent’s genes up there. The four empty boxes are their “kids” (not yet born). The possibilities of gene mixes.

So, that’s the first mix of genes because you take the gene from the row and from the column. Get it? So the rest would fill out like this:

So, that’s how it goes. But, not necessarily in that order. See first, Abby was born. She’s an Ff.

And then John would go into FF and James would go into Ff. Another chart would be made and Peter would be an Ff. And what am I? ff.

See, mendelian genetics can explain anything.

And yes. I do think this is highly amusing.

 

 

 

My very sugary no-sugar day


This is why one should always go running in the morning!

I always feel so refreshed after my morning runs!

For the past couple of days I have been feeling sucrose/glucose-intolerant (every time I thought of sugar I felt sick).

Today when I went on my morning run, a dear (very loyal) friend came along! It was great! I love running by myself but knowing that I am gonna be out in the freezing cold with my own thoughts doesn’t exactly *pop* me out of my bed in the morning.

However, I have found that at 7 in the morning I come up with “brilliant” ideas, like volunteering to go off sugar for a week with her.

I almost lasted a day.

Now, in my defense, my kind of sugar detox does not involve completely cutting out all sugar, just cutting out most of it.

Me being healthy

So, saying no to all sugar for a week..is well, something I would only say yes to at 7 in the morning!!

I had a very healthy breakfast and continued to “enjoy” my sugar-free day until I got home from Speech at 7 and started making brownies.

Let’s just say, Sugar-free week is starting tomorrow!

There is a little picture, hanging in my nana’s bathroom, with a picture of a rather fat hippopotamus staring into a river. The caption reads something along the lines of:

“No more pineapples,

no more guavas,

no more persimmons,

no more…

 starting tomorrow”

So…

A Falling Ordeal


I had some errands to run and decided to take my little brothers along. Tired of maneuvering my bike out of the garage, I decided we could just take scooters instead. of course, out of our original 5 scooters we only had 2 working ones + a Razorwing… this should have been a clue!

Starting down the street, the wind was blowing past, whipping my hair around my face. Fall is a beautiful season.

“Why don’t people always scooter everywhere they go?” I wondered happily to myself as we scooted along down the street.

Suffice it to say, I soon found out why exactly people stop scootering once they reach middle school!

1) Scooters are very short. So by the end of the ordeal, one will have a very sore back.

2) One leg gets very tired and the other is fine causing you to have to continuously switch legs.

3) It makes very loud clickety-clacks when it goes over every single crack in the sidewalk.

4) When you are trying to go uphill, you actually go downhill.

I think you get the idea. The worst pert of it though is that Razorwings are NOT made for transportation! They are like trick-bikes except for scooters. So guess who got to ride it for 1/2 of the whole trip?

If you guessed me, you were right!

Yep, my two little brothers who have SO much more energy than me rode the regular scooters and I rode the Razorwing…which we almost left unlocked at one of our stops cause we were so sick of it (well, me and James anyway. Peter, the owner of it didn’t like that idea very much)

The last bad thing about all this is that it’s really embarrassing!! Not so much actually riding the scooter (even though I know most kids give scooters up in 6th grade), just like, tripping over cracks. For example, we are almost home, and I am…ahem…homeschool-cursing the Razorwing. Nearing the intersection, I trip off of the scooter and the scooter kinda flies up a little. of course, I can’t really see with all my hair flying haphazardly in front of my face, so I am like a blind person trying to get her bearings. Then I kinda messed up where I put my foot and tripped and…almost fell but not quite.

Needless to say, I am very glad that no one except for the person waiting at the intersection (laughing at me) saw that happen.

Now, out of this came good! For example, I got my exercise. I was outside for a long time!

And I got a wallet and two new shirts.

So….all’s well that ends well. 🙂